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No More World Left To See

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  • 3 min read

by Rory Perkins

Before the taxi, before the phone rang and rang and rang and no one bothered to pick it up so I had to and I said hello and someone said its your mum and I said no your mum but they weren’t joking and now I’m on my way to the airport, on my way to a the city where everyone is always in a hurry and about to do something but never actually doing it, like me with the pills and the drink and the depressive fucking attitude as my flatmates call it, only these people, the people in the city, they think that what they’re doing matters and maybe it does and maybe it doesn’t but right now it doesn’t because I’m in the back of another taxi and some guy in a hat is asking me where I wanna go and I say gimme your hat but he won’t so I say take me to my mummy which apparently is all the information he needed because now we’re hurtling round the city and his meter is going click click click racking up all the money I owe him and won’t be able to pay unless I can pay with grief and despair and a dying mother which I tell myself is unlikely so in the end I open the door and jump out onto the pavement where my bones go click click click and somehow I’ve ended up right outside the hospital, the same hospital where I was born and my mother tried to get me sectioned, the same hospital where she said she wouldn’t put up with this shit anymore and by this shit she meant my drinking and my music and in the end I had to move out which is when things really took a turn, only now I’m back and maybe this is my chance to make amends, maybe maybe maybe, thats all I can think as a hygienic nurse leads me down a hygienic corridor to where my mother is trying and failing to keep all her bodily fluids where they’re supposed to be which is when she looks up and sees me and says the words I’ve been waiting to hear – she opens her mouth and some blood escapes while her lips say leave, so I do, I leave and leave and leave, only when I look down I haven’t moved an inch and instead I am shuffling forwards, into her space, into her arms where everything we want to say envelops us and there is no more world left to see.

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